No More Creepy Lurker

Since 2008, I've lurked in the shadows of many writers' and agents' blogs.

Always wishing it was me to be posting word counts, expounding on the finer points of querying agents & the accompanying letters, and chatting with other writers about characters and plotlines.... But never actually engaging with anyone. Or writing (much of) anything.

If I spent half as much time writing things these past 4 years as I did creepy lurking others' blogs, I'd be prolific by now.

This must stop. It is common knowledge that no matter who you are, your first novel (or first draft of any novel) is utter rubbish. (Dare I say there may be exceptions?!) But I stymy myself with self doubt, and nothing is accomplished, even knowing that my first novel (or 3..4..10) are strictly practice. Some say in order to be a writer, you have to write things. I'm starting to believe it.

It also occurs to me that there are rumors that we may be approaching our final 12 months of this planet. I don't necessarily believe this is true, but what better deadline, so to speak? I would like to at least have my first novel finished before I die, and even though nothing is guaranteed, I don't want to make it to 12/21/12 and suddenly have regrets -- just in case. I want at least one novel out. Maybe not out to the world, but at least out of my head and as shiny as possible.

It would also be nice to step out of my comfort zone and maybe actually connect with others. Find people who I can listen to and who will chat for hours about the intricacies of the lives of people who don't exist; who will read my words and offer advice to make it better; maybe even find some kindred souls who become friends. But what if you don't like me?! What if you think I'm obnoxious!? I'll work to surpass these insecurities as well as the ones I feel about my writing and just do it.

The worst case, I would say, is that the 2012 rumors are right, and nothing can be done... But at least I'll have finished my book. And best case, I'll have finally written and polished a novel, made some friends, and will have some more time left to see where things can go from there.